In many ways, the holiday season became a lot more fun for me once I had children. It also became a bit more difficult. Holidays with children bring all sorts of wonderful experiences; but many of them are right alongside opportunities for tears and tantrums.
This time of year, I become very aware of how much stuff we have. The kids begin to make their lists for Santa and I begin to look around and wonder where on earth we’re going to put this new collection of power tools, princess paraphernalia or, in the case of my son’s most recent request: diamond sweatpants. Don’t ask…I have no idea.
Whenever you have children it can be hard to rein in the gift giving from relatives and even I have trouble not buying everything I think the kids would like. But I find that, like almost everything else about having twins, there are subtle differences when it comes to the holidays. Holidays with twins can sometimes seem to be overwhelmingly about getting things simply because twins are often used to getting two of everything. If you haven’t set the rule early on that just because Jack got a pair of light-up sneakers it doesn’t mean that Connor is also getting a pair, you may have a meltdown on your hands when presents are opened.
Unlike with siblings of different ages, twins are often interested in the same toys and activities. There have been occasions where we knew a gift was going to be extra popular and buying two made more sense (I mean, who only has one light saber?). But overall, we really work hard to get to know our kids as individuals and learn what toys would really suit each of them best. Sure, there are occasional moments of jealousy or even fights over a gift, but I would rather my children learn how to negotiate asking for a turn and figure out how to be generous than to avoid that life lesson by simply giving them both the same toy!
My husband’s 4 siblings joke about how, even to this day, he manages to hide one of his Christmas gifts until everyone else is done opening theirs. He then has his chance to be the sole focus, not upstaged by anyone else. I can imagine a twin coming up with a similar strategy to have his moment in the sun!
In a large family it can be hard to stand out and be noticed. As a twin, sometimes this is hard just because people may look at you as part of a set. The holidays are a great time to help your kids have moments that are special and just for them. Creating jobs for each child that they feel are integral to the success of the event can really help them not only have lasting memories, but to also be able to show their personal skills. Our daughter especially likes art and has made a number of decorations for our tree. Our son, who loves music, is helping pick out songs for the evening’s play list.
Of course having traditions we do all together is what can make this time of year such a great time for family bonding. Giving your twins these shared memories is a wonderful way to increase their sibling bond over time.
I hope that whatever your holiday plans are that you are sharing them with those you love. Happy Holidays!
Photo credit: n2linux on Flickr.
